Haunting Memories
by prettylittletaylorswift
Summary: Set a short month after Ezra's shooting, a glimpse is given into how Aria is dealing with everything. Will she ever truly be able to break free from the horrific memories that haunt her mind?
1. Chapter 1

**So I have about a million uni assignments due, so what do I do? I write fanfiction of course! Haha enjoy the product of my procrastination.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars or Lucy Hale's music! **

Panic. That was all she felt, the only sensation Aria felt coursing through her body. Panic. Tormenting flashes of her worst imaginations and realities intertwined - nightmares consuming her mind and withering her strength away. Eyes squeezed tightly shut, she tossed her head side to side, as inaudible whimpers of fear escaped from her pale lips. Her thick, dark hair was drenched in sweat and limply stuck to her glistening chest and shoulders while her fingers curled into the bed sheets, clenching the cotton fibers until her knuckles were painted a ghostly shade of white.

The earth-shattering sound of a gunshot roared into Aria's ear. Her eyes flew open in terror and a petrified shriek escaped from her mouth. Aria's eyes madly darted around the room in search for an inevitable attack as her heart beat furiously. The deafening echo of the firing bullet resounded for a few more seconds before hauntingly dissipating into the surrounding walls.

Soon the only sounds Aria could hear were her own laboured breaths, and her painfully-tight hold on the bed sheets loosened. Her anguished vision began to recognise the distinct characteristics of reality - the familiar surroundings of Aria's childhood bedroom. A small wave of respite flooded her body and she closed her eyes for a moment longer, appreciating the withering away of her nightmare.

Suddenly her large, wooden bedroom door burst open with a thunderous explosion and Aria sat up in a panicked state of alarm. She let out a tense breath as she recognised her brother, Mike, standing in front of her.

"Are you okay?!" Mike questioned breathlessly. He was dressed only in his pyjamas and by his heavy breathing, it appeared he had made quite the swift journey to arrive in Aria's bedroom.

Clutching the sheets up to her chin, Aria gave a little nod. She focused her eyes upon the corner of her room, avoiding eye contact with someone she knew would see right through her pitiful facade.

Mike was silent for a few more moments before he stepped forward, walking steadily until he reached Aria's bed. Aria lifted her gaze to meet his and felt her heart shatter a little as she witnessed a pure, selfless expression of care in her brother's eyes. Her eyes quickly darted away and watched the world swim in a distorted and blurry existence.

Aria felt the weight of her brother's frame as it hit the bed, and she instinctively leaned forward to bury her face in his chest. Mike's broad shoulders and muscular arms protectively wrapped themselves around Aria's tiny body, and held her as she began weeping. Mike soothingly stroked his sister's back with one hand, while his chin rested atop Aria's brunette head.

"I can't escape it." Aria finally whimpered after a few solid minutes of inconsolable distress. She leaned back, breaking away from her brother's hold and gulped heavily, her lungs craving deprived oxygen. Tears continued to silently cascade down her pale cheeks.

"Is this about Ezra?" Mike gently prodded, one hand delicately stroking Aria's.

Aria's forehead crumpled and Mike's eyes widened in alarm. He began to utter a cry of apology but was silenced by Aria shaking her head and opening her mouth. "It's that. And just everything. 'A', Ali, school, Mom, Dad…it's just too much, Mike." At that, she began sobbing again, though this time she didn't lean forward, not allowing herself the privilege of her brother's comfort.

"Hey…this will all blow over soon, you'll see. Mom and Dad – they'll stop asking so many questions soon, and you're almost finished with high school…and they're gonna catch 'A' soon, I promise." Mike offered with a weak smile.

Aria lifted her eyes to his. "How can you promise that? You don't know." She shook her head in denial.

Mike was silent for a few moments. "Well, I suppose I don't know."

Aria looked up in surprise. For once, someone was being blatantly honest with her. For once, someone wasn't trying to be pathetically optimistic or naively ignorant. It was actually quite a pleasant relief.

Mike stood up from the bed and walked over to Aria's desk before picking up a box of tissues. He walked back over and offered the box to his sister, who gratefully took a tissue and used it to pat down the tears on her cheeks. She sniffed loudly and took several deep breaths before smiling somewhat dismally at her brother. "Thanks Mike. Thank you for being here."

Mike nodded. "That's okay. Anytime little sis." He smiled goofily.

Aria's eyes widened, though this time with a hint of joy. "Hey! It's _big_ sis to you!"

Mike laughed. "Have you looked in a mirror lately? You are most definitely _not_ my big sis."

Aria mockingly gasped, letting out a little giggle as she playfully punched his arm. Mike eyes lit up as he witnessed the small, yet entirely significant change in disposition in his sister, and a broad smile extended across his face.

"You okay in here now? Cause I've got homework to do!" Mike exclaimed jokingly as he stood up off Aria's bed.

Aria nodded, though her joyful expression fell somewhat. "I'm good now. Thanks again, Mike."

Mike paused, regarding his sister with a little skepticism before nodding and walking back towards Aria's open door.

As she watched her brother walk out her bedroom door, Aria sighed deeply. She closed her eyes for a moment, sitting motionless, before nodding ever-so-slightly to herself and opening her eyes. She threw her bed covers back before standing up and walking across her bedroom, over to the door which led into her and Mike's adjoining bathroom.

Once in the bathroom with the door securely locked, Aria stripped her items of clothing off one by one. She reached into the shower to turn the hot water tap on, knowing from experience she would need to wait for the perfect temperature to arrive. Almost vicariously, she gazed at herself naked in the mirror, regarding her body with a newfound objectivity. Unconsciously and certainly not willingly, it was in moments like these when Aria's thoughts travelled back to him. _Will he ever see me like this again?_

After a few minutes of patient waiting, Aria stepped into the shower and sighed contently as the hot water caressed her skin, washing away the sweat and nightmarish terrors associated with her dreams. As Aria began lathering her thick hair with strawberry-scented shampoo, her mind began travelling to distant memories, ones supposedly locked away, never to be revisited again. And yet, Aria stood no chance against the assault that were her memories.

"_Ezra, stop!" Aria laughed hysterically, wiggling away from her boyfriend as he held up a black bottle of shampoo. "You can't wash my hair with that! I don't wanna smell like a boy!" _

_She giggled at Ezra's pretend 'hurt' expression, before leaning forward underneath the downpour of hot water to passionately kiss his lips. Ezra hummed pleasantly and dropped the bottle, before wrapping his hands securely around Aria's tiny waist. Aria's own hands reached up to wrap around Ezra's neck as she pressed her bare body against his own. _

_After a few minutes of passionate kissing, Aria leaned back, breaking free from Ezra's mouth. "I'll be right back." _

_Ezra stood under the shower head in shock as Aria hastily removed herself from the shower. "Where are you going?" He called out, though he didn't really expect a reply. Ezra looked down and groaned as he saw evidence of Aria's effect on him. She really did have the worst timing._

_After a few minutes Aria promptly returned, equipped with two bright, pink bottles. "_Now_ I can smell like a girl." She giggled before handing Ezra a bottle. _

_Ezra just looked down at his girlfriend's face with a mixture of surprise and delight evident in his expression. "You just _happened_ to have shampoo and conditioner in your bag?" His eyebrow lifted in a questioning manner._

_Aria shrugged. "I picked them up from the store this morning. I decided it's only practical to have my own stuff here."_

_Ezra grinned. "Practical, hey?"_

_Aria laughed. "Yep, practical. Why would I want to shower at home when I can shower here and have my boyfriend wash my hair for me?"_

_Ezra snorted but obediently opened the bottle and squirted the liquid into his hands. _

Aria's cheeks grew warm at the memory, simultaneously reveling and cursing the return of that all-too familiar warm anticipation in the bottom of her stomach and the beautifully electric tingling in her sighed deeply and crossed her arms across her chest, as if to dispel the aching need for his hold. Aria shook her head and turned the tap off, feeling the sudden chill of the bathroom as the hot water stopped falling. She hurriedly stepped out of the shower and dried herself with a bathroom towel, before wrapping it securely around her body.

The next hour was spent in behaviours so ritualised, they had a magnificent calming effect on Aria. The simple actions of choosing an outfit, blow-drying and curling her hair, and putting on makeup - they all participated in the pretence of normalcy in Aria's life. These were the same actions she'd been repeating for years now, no matter the horrors or heartbreak Aria was suffering.

Once she was certain she could delay her departure no longer, Aria reluctantly picked up her handbag and keys, and walked out of her bedroom door, down the stairs and out of the Montgomery's front door. After her shower and a fresh change of clothes, Aria was feeling somewhat content, as if today might not be one of _those_ days after all. It was when Aria was seated in the driver's seat of her car however, when that same feeling of hopelessness and confusion swept over her body. _Where was she going? Who was she seeing? Who would she _allow_ herself to see?_ These were just a few of the questions which had plagued Aria's mind for the past few months, ever since that fateful night up at Ezra's cabin.

"_You knew Alison. You knew her!" Aria voice shook with fear as she spat out the haunting revelation._

"_Aria, please just listen to me!" Ezra's eyes glistened with pain as he helplessly watched the unfolding of his lies and obsession on the one girl who had truly meant everything to him._

"_Nothing you say will change anything!" Aria screamed as she gripped the side of the ski lift, desperately trying to further the distance between the man she once thought she knew and the skeleton of who she had become. She began weeping. "I don't even know who you are." _

On one of the many sleepless nights since, Aria had contemplated and even marvelled at the ability one instant or moment in time, could have in changing a life completely. In that one night, Aria's world as she knew it had been completely shattered, obliterated until she no longer knew reality from nightmare. Truth from lies. Love from hate.

Aria had dealt with it the only way she knew how – lying to herself. She was a master of deceit, and had many a time used her skill to get what she wanted. These past few months had been no exception. Aria simply blocked certain memories from her mind, refusing to admit their existence or relevance to her life now. If she could act as if they never happened, then she wouldn't have to feel the excruciating pain…right?

And yet what Aria hadn't been counting on betraying her was her own slumbering mind. It was during the night when her lying mechanisms proved powerless. She couldn't control her unconscious and wandering mind. And that scared the hell out of Aria.

Deciding she would just drive, for the sake of the action rather than the destination, Aria turned the key into the ignition and reversed out of her driveway and onto the quiet neighbourhood street in Rosewood.

Aria's mind had been far too consuming that morning already, so she immediately turned on the radio in the hope it could somewhat deafen the assaults of her thinking. Yet to her immediate dismay, the radio proved no solace as the lyrics to a tune she knew all too well, resounded throughout the car.

_It takes me to me and you_

_Black and white movie I made you watch, then we kissed_

_Oh, I knew I was falling for you_

Aria's forehead crumpled at the words. Her rosy lips began to tremble as her eyes brimmed with tears threatening to spill over.

_That's when it hits me you're gone._

Aria swerved suddenly to the side and slammed on the brakes, paying no mind to the existence of other drivers. The screeching of the tyres mimicked the ripping of Aria's battered heart as she clutched the steering wheel. _Why did this all have to be so hard? Why couldn't she just move on?_

As she turned the ignition off, Aria's eyes rested upon her cell phone, lying purposefully atop her handbag on the passenger seat. With trembling hands, she reached across for it. Clutching it in her right hand, Aria tormented herself with an internal battle against reason and emotion. Truth and lies. Love and hate.

She rested her head against the steering wheel, closing her eyes and finally allowing her tears to fall. She could feel her black mascara running, diluted with the salty droplets of pain which ran down her cheeks. _Who knew she could produce these many tears?_ Over the past few months, Aria had assumed at one point she would have no more tears left, having simply spent them all. And yet, she always seemed to have an abundance of them, always present and always threatening to destroy her camouflage to the outside world.

After a few minutes, Aria lifted her head up from the steering wheel and blinked her eyes in an attempt to dissipate the flow of tears. She wiped her cheeks with her trembling fingers and focused her attention upon her cell phone, still gripped tightly in her right hand. In an almost automatic motion, her fingertips glided across the screen until her thumb hovered over a name that would forever beat through her heart. _Ezra_.

With a heavy breath, Aria pressed her thumb down and stared almost in shock at the 'dialling' statement present on the screen. _Was she really calling him?_ With shaking hands, she lifted the phone up to her right ear and bit her lip hard as she felt her eyes brimming with tears once more.

A terrifying clicking sound emanated from the phone, followed by a torturous second of silence before a simple "Aria?" echoed through her bones.

Paralysed and unable to speak, she simply let out a small whimper before unleashing a cry of pain, a small representation of the heartbreak which consumed her soul. Weeping furiously she could distantly hear the sound of his voice, most likely consoling her.

"I need you." Three simple words, possibly unintelligible through her sounds of pain, and yet uttered. After months of pretence and lying to herself, Aria knew those words were truth.

**Let me know whether you want part two or not! I've already written it so I can upload it if you want.**

**Please review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my god. You guys actually blew me away. 17 reviews?! I can't even believe it tbh. I love you all so much!**

**So here's part two!**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars...**

Twenty minutes later, and looking possibly even more dishevelled than before, with tears still flowing freely down her cheeks, Aria stood in front of a door she never believed she would walk through again. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand up to knock softly on the dark wood.

Almost immediately the door swung open to reveal him. Aria's eyes widened. Despite her talking to him over the phone and agreeing to meet him and driving all the way over here, a part of her still didn't believe any of this was real. Then again, the lines between reality and her imagination had become increasingly blurred over the past few months.

"Aria." His voice shattered her fragile heart all over again. She let out a cry of pain and stepped forward to bury herself in his chest, nose pressed up against his hoodie.

How long they stayed like that, Aria didn't know. At some point, the front door had been closed and Aria had been led across to the sofa where she remained tightly clutching onto Ezra's hold. He soothingly rubbed her back, just as Mike had a few hours ago, though this felt significantly different. Mike's touch had been a temporary respite, a caring expression of brotherly love, and there had been no true release of pain, not like this at least. Engulfed in his smell, buried into his chest, touching his warm skin – it all felt like coming home.

After a while Aria's sobs had quietened until the only sounds present in the room were her laboured breaths and soft sniffs. She didn't move however. Straddling Ezra's lap and tightly holding him like a koala, Aria pressed her ear against his chest, revelling in the repetitive sound of his heartbeat.

"Aria?" Ezra's voice gently broke into the room.

Aria didn't respond right away but lifted her head up and sat up slightly, supporting her own weight. She looked at him in the eye for the first time in months. _She knew what she needed._

Aria carefully leaned forward before pausing, just centimetres away from his face. Her eyes darted up to gaze into his once more before she firmly pressed her lips to his. For a second the motion was unreciprocated and Aria's forehead crinkled. She pulled back slightly.

Ezra's face looked slightly apologetic but also quite concerned. "Aria…is this really what you want?" He whispered tentatively.

After a brief second, Aria nodded in confirmation and leaned forward again to reattach her lips to his. This time, his lips parted and she felt the glorious sensation of his tongue dancing over her own. For the first time in months she felt _alive_.

Small moans and murmurs of content were heard, and that glorious, warm sensation reappeared in the bottom of Aria's stomach, as well as the electric tingling in her toes. The real sensation held no comparison to what Aria had felt a glimpse of earlier this morning. The feeling burst forth, overtaking her body and Aria found herself tugging at the bottom of Ezra's hoodie, with an overpowering desire to touch his bare skin.

At Aria's forward movement, Ezra broke away from her lips. Aria pouted her lips, causing Ezra to chuckle. His tone was serious however, when he asked "Are you sure, Aria?"

Aria smiled the first real smile she had produced in a long time and nodded. "I'm positive."

At that, Ezra leaned forward to seize Aria's lips in his own again and allowed her to slowly tug his hoodie and shirt up. They broke apart when together, they lifted the garments over Ezra's arms and head. However, suddenly Aria's disposition changed dramatically. The soft smile and light in her eyes vanished and replaced with it was a terrified look of anxiety. Ezra followed Aria's gaze down his torso, to where a jagged, brown scar rested on the right side of his stomach.

He watched with curiosity as Aria took a small, shallow breath before lifting her trembling fingertips to trail lightly over the scar. Unknowingly to Ezra, echoes of screams and gunshots and wails reverberated through Aria's skull and she felt that familiar, terrifying sensation of helplessness wash over her. She closed her eyes, feeling the heaviness of her eyelids as they fought against the torrent of tears threatening to spill over.

"_I'm so sorry." Ezra whispered as he lifted his hand to touch Aria's cheek._

"_No! No, Ezra! Don't you dare close your eyes, do you hear me?" Aria screamed as she held tightly onto Ezra's arm, caressing his forehead. _

"_Ezra, please!" Aria wept as she saw his eyes close softly, as she watched the man she loved die slowly before her._

"Hey…it's okay, Aria." The sound of Ezra's voice shook Aria from the petrifying visions which plagued her mind. She opened her eyes and felt the wetness of tears as they trailed down her cheeks. Removing her fingertips from the scar, Aria leaned down and softly placed a kiss along the marred skin. She then slowly leaned back up to place a subsequent soft kiss onto Ezra's lips.

"I don't ever want to lose you again." Aria whispered as she pressed her forehead against his.

Ezra wrapped his hands securely around Aria's waist and looked deep into her eyes. "I promise you, I am not going anywhere."

And with that, Aria wiped her tears away and pressed her lips back onto Ezra's, where they belonged.

**Sorry this part was way shorter. Originally I intended to put the whole text in one chapter but it seemed like too much, so I split it into two.**

** Anyway, let me know what you thought! Please review! :)**


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